Algal bloom to fuel South Australia
Breaking news: The Malinauskas government will announce this morning that CSIRO scientists have discovered that the current algal bloom affecting much of the state’s waters can be harvested as a viable and cheap solution to diesel fuel.
Large ocean-going tankers will be repurposed for the task.
The tankers will travel parallel and between them will be a series of pool noodles connected by heavy-duty cabling.
The bloom will simply be scooped into the tanker holds, thereby eliminating the bloom, and the bloom fluid will be desalinated at South Australia’s desal plant.
The fluid requires no further refining and can then be used to power tractors, trucks and Landcruisers. CSIRO expect the whole process to cost around $1.50 per litre.
Pauline Hanson’s portrait to adorn Balaklava’s wheat silo
The Balaklava Silo Art Committee announced this morning that it has received full funding from Gina Rinehart for their silo art to finally go ahead.
Instead of celebrating the Balaklava race track with a scene of horses thundering down the straight, the artwork will now feature a stunning portrait of Pauline Hanson in honour of her
party’s historic South Australian wins.
“Her vivid red hair will look amazing at sunset”, said local Ethan Allen.
Housing development for Pinery
The Malinauskas government announced this morning that a 4500-housing development will be built west of the town of Pinery, starting on April 1, 2027.
The first stage will be to construct the low-cost affordable houses, consisting of one to two-bedroom bungalows, targeting the lower income demographic and first home buyers.
Stage two will include a massive upgrade to the Long Plains Oval for Gather Round in 2028 along with a highway duplication of Traeger Road from Grace Plains to the Pinery turn off, where a set of traffic lights will be installed.
Co-developer Kelvin Tiller has announced the future of Pinery is now secure. The subdivision will be known as ‘Walaragud’, which means ‘nothing grows out here’.
The soil turning ceremony will be held at the Pinery Oval today at 11.59 am.
And finally, happy April Fools Day to those who celebrate! Please do not fill your tractor with algae today.
